Why I decided to “come out" to my coworkers about having MS

I was told not to divulge my “disabled status” at work from the office that works (confidentially) with people who have disabilities at the university that employs me. During a year of being lost in my professional life, I constantly went back and forth on this topic.  At the first position, it came out that I had MS because I had an awful relapse that caused me to be out of work for four months. It really wasn't their business as to why I was out sick, but being a young lady and bed-ridden raised a lot of eyebrows, so I told them. I didn't want to be a character in a string of gossip and speculation.

I was with that division for nearly three years before I had enough of inconsistent and unreliable leadership.  I wanted to stay at the university though, so I looked for another position elsewhere.  I should have stayed at my original post. I didn’t really trust anyone at my second position to divulge my daily battles.  It was a stressful situation and I already had communication issues with my boss.  If she couldn't understand or respond to the most simple requests, how could she understand this? We did not see eye to eye.  Luckily I was in a classification that I would not be terminated, just reassigned.

The third position was only temporary while I found my niche, so there was no need to talk about it. there. Although in the short time I was there, I thought I could some day expose my secret to my coworkers.

Now, here I am in a wonderful position with so many awesome opportunities.  I enjoy my coworkers and for once actually admire and respect the leadership. This division has their act together and is remarkably organized.  I have never in my life worked for an organization like this.  I love it.  Not only do I love my day to day activities, but the Vice Provost reached out to me to be a part of a special initiative.  This would never have happened in the places I worked before.  I feel valued and appreciated.

Cluttered desk.  Cluttered mind?

Would I mess that up if I told them I had a disability?  Would they think less of me? Would they not trust me to be able to do my job?

Out of all the places I’ve worked on this campus, I had the most trust in my coworkers, my supervisor and the leadership of this division. I felt comfortable disclosing my disability with my supervisor (and my supervisor to be be…due to office restructuring) at my annual review.

I wasn’t sure how I would bring it up, but the topic of MRI’s came up during a casual conversation before the review. My current supervisor talked about how she was slightly claustrophobic and my future supervisor asked if she had ever had an MRI as her husband was a MRI technician. I took it as a sign to start talking about my own experiences with MRI’s.

They were very supportive and thankful that I let them know.

I was so relieved and am even happier and more secure in my work life.  I have confidence again and am looking forward to tackling some tasks.

It really comes down to my decision about who I let know about my disease. The main reason why I wanted to disclose my situation is because I don’t think it’s fair that I get to “hide” my illness while others who are in wheelchairs or use canes do not have that choice.  Also, I’m an advocate for people with MS.  How can I truly fight for us and support others if I am keeping my MS a secret?

This was my decision.  Just like each person with MS is different, so is each person's decision to talk about their experiences.